Humor Information
List number 1

Rock’s Oddball Celebrity News

Rock’s Oddball Celebrity News By Rocky Ramsey According to an interview with Madonna on 20/20, she wants to change her name to Esther, because it’s a good Biblical name. Paris Hilton’s infamous Internet video has been released on DVD. It’s called “1 Night in Paris.” Barbra Streisand, that great humanitarian, sued a guy for $10 million last year because he took pictures of her house. After . . .

The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story

The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story By Rocky Ramsey My father has what can only be described as fantastically good luck or horribly bad luck. You'll have to be the judge with this one. This is a true story. Several months ago my parents went to a Biloxi casino and were waiting in line for breakfast. The casino, being thoughtful for its guests, not to mention making a few extra bucks for the cas. . .

Postal Rates Going Up Again

Postal Rates Going Up Again By Rocky Ramsey The Postmaster General wants to raise the cost of a first-class stamp by at least 4 cents. Thankfully he doesn't want to do it until 2006, but by then he'll probably want more. The constant raising of stamp prices causes a vicious circle. The post office raises stamp prices, people find ways to communicate without sending mail, the post office's budg. . .

Is Working From Home Really For You?

Forget the hype! No, NOT everyone can make big money working from home. Is it possible to make a six figure income working from home? YES!. Is it possible to enjoy more freedom in your schedule, own your own business, fire your boss, and all of the other work from home fantasies? YES! Can you do it? Well, now that one's not as easy to answer. I can't solve that riddle for you. I CAN, however. . .

How The Affiliate Masters Make Massive Sales

Everyone involved in Internet marketing knows the names of the affiliate program masters. Marlon Sanders. Mark Joyner. Jimmy D. Brown. Terry Dean. Everyone knows them because at one point or another 95% of us signed up as an affiliate with at least one of them. We also know them because these are the guys who have pulled in the BIG money we all dream about. They've actually done it, and so. . .

Benefits Of Resisting The "Buy Now!" Temptation

There are countless Internet marketing articles out there on how to influence your customer to get excited and 'buy now!' That's great, but let's turn things around for a minute. What happens when YOU are the potential customer? Guess what? Others will be reading those same articles and trying those same tactics on you! That's ok, I mean, fair is fair, but what can you do to make sure you do. . .

Get Rich Writing Fiction

GET RICH WRITING FICTION Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca Some of us write simply because we can't not write. Ideas grab us, move us, and demand to be written. We strive to make it as real as we possibly can, to improve at our craft every day, hopefully to make it into the realm of literature as well as entertainment. We want to craft an entire world where the places and people are so real that. . .

How Great Copywriting Sizzles For The Sale

Great copywriting really ticks me off. No, I mean it. In fact I think I already wrote an article about it. It was called "Why I Hate Compelling Ad Copy" if I remember right. What makes me mad about great copywriting is simple. It leads me. It brings out my impulses and guides me to where the writer wishes to take me. In fiction, that's a wonderful thing. It makes the story more enjoyab. . .

It's A Good Thing Internet Marketers Don't Swallow Swords

I'm afraid Internet Marketers are an extremely unfocused group of individuals. I know I can be anyway, and from what I've heard from others, it seems I'm not alone. I don't think there's any one of us marketing online that didn't get suckered in, at least to some degree, by the promise of big money on only a few hours of work per week. Well let me tell you something if you're just starting out. . .

The Orange Marmalade Lid Secrets Of The GURUs

Ever notice how the first ten paragraphs of every sales pitch you read online are the same? Ever notice how the first two pages of most ebooks or info reports you get are the same? If you think about it, I'm certain you can tell me exactly what it is they all go over, can't you? Of course you can. What is it they ALL talk about? All together now... "The DREAM of Making It BIG!!!" They begin wi. . .

How Top Network Marketers Build Success

Personally, I believe in the power of network marketing. I believe it is a wonderful idea as it makes business success more readily available to the average person -- with or without previous business experience or education. However, it is not the average person who enjoys huge success atop a powerful network marketing organization. Unfortunately, there has been too much misinformation,. . .

Create More Contacts By Varying Your Promotion Methods

Most likely, you are restricting the growth of your business by unknowingly restricting how you promote it. So many in network marketing promote their opportunity in a very limited fashion. They approach others with the idea of working from home or owning their own business. But is that really the only way you can market? Now, eventually to sign someone up under you, that subject is going to h. . .

Discover The 7 Key Areas Crucial To Business Development

Everyday your online, literally hundreds of pieces of information are laid out before you, and ALL of them claim to contain knowledge critical to your online success. Now obviously we can't read all of it, nor do we need to do so. Therefore, isn't it about time we finally took a few moments to discuss just exactly what areas we DO need to focus our time on? That way WE are in control over what . . .

How Not To Get Published

HOW NOT TO GET PUBLISHED Copyright 2001 Michael LaRocca If someone had told me in 2000 that I'd publish four books in 2001, I'd have called him an eejit. The last time I'd been published was 1989, and that doesn't count because I paid someone to do it. I'd long since given up on getting published again. In fact, I doubted I'd ever write again. By now you may wonder how I made it from Point A t. . .

Timothy Ward IS Hotter Than You

Inspiration for the articles I write does not always come instantly. That's why I spend hours upon hours each day surfing the internet and visiting various websites. This may sound like time wasted or goofing off but I assure you that I am working. While some writers find that long walks or exercise help them to invoke the muse, I've found that cruising along through cyberspace with no particul. . .

3 Surefire Ways To Combat Rising Gas Prices

I have heard the rumblings of many of you in Readerland about the recent spike in gasoline prices. In fact it's all I seem to hear about lately. But at least it keeps you from rumbling about the infrequency of my columns and articles. Nonetheless, I have decided to try to help you get through this crisis by generously providing: 3 Ways to Combat Rising Gas Prices! 1. Don't Drive Your Car T. . .

It's EQ, Not IQ, That Will Make You More Money

Years ago, I read a biography on Nikola Tesla. While I found many aspects of this great inventor's life intriguing, the one thing that really made an impression on me was not his many inventions, not his significant contributions to science, and not even his incredible intelligence. It was the fact that he died a very poor man. It's unfair, really, that such a great man never enjoyed financial. . .

Are You Marketing A Product That's Unrealistic For You?

Fact: There are far more people wishing to make substantial incomes from home over the Internet than there are actually doing it. That's an obvious statement to be sure, but why is that true? One factor often overlooked in my opinion is that many people make poor selections when choosing what they should sell. People, more often than not, decide what business to enter based on emotion, excitem. . .

Tap Into Larger Profits With Your Promotion

The Promotion of your business is NOT about your business. It is NOT merely an announcement that your business exists. It is NOT simply about attracting new customers. And it is NOT your greatest source of generating profits. Promotion IS, however, the active portion that fuels the sales cycle of your business. It is the last domino to be placed in line, and yet the one that starts the chain. . .

Save Money By Cutting Recurring Expenses

One of the greatest things about running an online business is the extremely low operating costs it has compared to a brick and mortar business. However, there are still many tools online marketers need. In essence, web hosting, auto responders, list servers, ad trackers, and payment processors are the basic tools we use. There are a wide variety of services available for handling t. . .

Discover The MAJOR Force Driving Internet Sales Today

Simply put, permission email marketing is THE true profit producer fueling the success of the Internet age. If I didn't make that point strong enough, please re-read that statement until it really sinks in. No other Internet marketing strategy produces as high of a return on investment as permission email marketing. NOR does any other strategy truly achieve it's peak effectiveness until it is . . .

10 Common Errors of the Novice Writer

Editing and Writing Simultaneously Writing is a creative process. When you create, you use the right side of your brain. Editing is an analytical process. When you edit, you use the left side of your brain. As these two activities have totally different focuses, they need to be handled as separate activities. During the creative process, forget grammar. Forget spelling and all those other. . .

The One-Plot Wonder

THE ONE-PLOT WONDER Copyright 2004, Michael LaRocca Back in the mid to late 1980s I was a security guard. The pay was lousy, but it gave me many hours in seclusion to write short stories and novels. However, I usually worked over 80 hours a week. No one can write that much. Well, at least not me. Thus I discovered the joys of my local libraries. Recently, I decided to look up an author who gav. . .

Signs You Might Be A Cat

SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A CAT Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca You can get cuddles whenever you want them. You yowl loudly if your litter box is not clean. You yowl loudly at the full moon. You yowl loudly for no reason. Floor swimming! Ping Pong balls! You find yourself bathing Daddy every day because he doesn't know how to clean himself. You don't understand the language that your pet humans use, b. . .

Where to Find the Muse

Creative Writing is based on imagination. Where do you go when your mind is blank? How do you develop a lasting relationship with your muse? Writing every day is the best way to write well, but when the muse eludes you, there are numerous places on the web to find inspiration. Some sites offer daily or weekly writing prompts. Keep a notebook and pen with you at all times. There is no tell. . .

When Homework Suffers

Your child brings home good grades semester after semester. Suddenly, his grades drop and the teachers express concern that he isn’t doing his homework. You know better. Left unchecked, he begins lying, forging your signature on school papers. How do you regain control? For elementary school aged children, the key to control is repetition and consistency. Children of this age need to know . . .

Understanding the Under Utilized Auto Responder

Undoubtedly, one of the most powerful automation and promotional tools we have for our online businesses is the auto responder. Auto responders work for us when we're not online, they provide instant information for readers, and can follow up with prospects automatically for us over time. However, I still believe auto responders are often under utilized, and occasionally even used in an imprope. . .

Apostrophe Usage Made Simple

APOSTROPHE USAGE MADE SIMPLE Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca According to one of my previous articles, whenever a Southerner says "Y'all watch this," get out of the way because those are probably the last words he will ever say. Well, I'm a Southerner. I used to live in the southeastern United States, but I moved to the southeast of China. And, I'm about to say the magic words: Y'all watch this. . .

Learning How To Write

LEARNING HOW TO WRITE Copyright 2004, Michael LaRocca As a student of Spanish, my goal was to think in Spanish. Skip the word-by-word translation so I'd have the necessary speed to speak and listen. I know words in Spanish that I'd be hard pressed to translate. Usually profanity, I confess. Chingow! For years my students here in China have studied grammar, and know it better than you or I. The. . .

You've Got The 'Insane' Traffic, But Are They Sticking Around?

"What is the best form of promotion?" If only I had a dollar for every time I'd been asked that question, I could retire and not have to worry about it! It seems everything these days is all about driving insane traffic to your site, getting massive hits, and blowing the bearings off your hit counter! Actually, I'm still not sure why anyone would want 'insane' traffic anyway, but that's anothe. . .

Marriage: Pleasurable act and art of Sex

Marriage is a combination of friendship, love, and the intimacy of a physical union. Marriage is the socially recognized union of two or more people. Marriage is the foundation of the family. In turn the family is the basic unit of society. Thus while marriage is a personal relationship, it also has a social significance. There are many reasons why we should be married: social security, comfort. . .

The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight - A Very Roman Holiday

The Skin Traveler © 2001 Laura Fink / All Rights Reserved http://www.clockdomain.com Episode One - The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight The sculpted bushes and phosphorous fountains of Shiver Tower Gardens began to fade, and Tock felt a strange buzzing in his head. He saw his hand reach in slow motion for his mouse, but before he could touch it, he found himself sitting in a dim corner of a. . .

It really happened

IT REALLY HAPPENED (H) We were babysitting for my grandkids and my wife was playing a word game with cards with the five-year-old, Brittany Goldberg. (Yes -- that's her name -- I couldn't make that one up!) The little one had just drawn her second "O," and was trying to make a word with the other letters she had. She put them together in front of her, switching the letter cards and looking . . .

Cut and paste weekday joke java script

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Are you depressed??? Viagra will surely help

Impotence, which is also known as Erectile Dysfunction. It is defined as the inability of men to achieve or to maintain an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse or the needs of his partner. Impotence is associated with mind and emotions. A Survey also shows that for both men and women, up to 78% of sexual dysfunction and inhibited sexual desire are of mental or emotional origin. It is impo. . .

Hurricane Cats

HURRICANE CATS Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca You like cats, don't you? Some people don't like cats. Daddy doesn't like cats. Daddy's best friend, Bill Ball, loves his cats. Their names are Clipper and Keebles. Clipper and Keebles are large cats, longhaired blurs of gray, ginger, white, brown, and maybe something else. Whenever Daddy visits Bill Ball, they sit on the porch and drink beer. (The. . .

Invite failures

Can everybody attain their success in their single effort or in single instance? You can get answer to this question if you read or heard the bio-graph of some successful peoples. Definitely no body would have attained their success in their first effort or attempt. In real life you may see numerous popular personalities in cinema or in the sports field, etc. It is common to see the peak of any. . .

Pumpkin, The Halloween Cat

PUMPKIN, THE HALLOWEEN CAT Copyright 2005, Michael LaRocca The neighbor's car pulled into my driveway. She got out holding a stranger in her arms. "I found this cat in my yard. Is he yours?" "No." "Oh. I thought he was." "Well, he's not." "Well, can you hold him until I drive away so he doesn't follow me home?" Oh yes, we all know how this story ends. He was a beautiful little fuzzy ball of ora. . .

Business Cartoons Mean Business

Let’s face it, unless you’re Donald Trump, business can be pretty dull most of the time. Maybe that’s why so many people decorate their cubicles and offices with cartoons. A good laugh can really perk up your day! So why don’t more businesses use business cartoons? It’s interesting that so few companies make the connection between cartoons and business. Are they afraid of not being taken seriou. . .

Writer School?

WRITER SCHOOL? Copyright 2004, Michael LaRocca Here's something from my mailbag. "Dear Michael, do you need to do good in school if you want to be a writer? I stink at school and all my friends laugh at me when I tell them I want to write, but I'm serious." Followed by a sentence or two of "I need your words to encourage me" or some such nonsense. Fortunately, a writing sample is rarely attache. . .