Managing Your Stress

As a negative influence, stress can result in feelings of distrust, rejection, anger, and depression, which in turn can lead to health problems such as headaches, upset stomach, rashes, insomnia, ulcers, high blood pressure, heart disease, and stroke. So our goal is not to eliminate stress, but rather to learn how to manage it and use it to help us.

Finding a balance is crucial. Insufficient stress acts as a depressant and may leave us feeling bored or dejected; on the other hand, excessive stress may leave us feeling "tied up in knots." There is no single level of stress that is right for everyone. We are each individual creatures with our own unique requirements. What is upsetting to one person may be a joy to another. We each must find the optimal level of stress which will individually motivate but not overwhelm us.

The first step is to become aware of what stresses you out and your emotional and physical reactions. Notice your distress. Don't ignore it. Don't gloss over your problems. Determine what events distress you. What are you telling yourself about the meaning of these events? Determine how your body responds to the stress. Do you become nervous or physically upset? If so, in what specific ways?

Next, recognize what you can change. Can you eliminate or avoid what is causing you stress? Can you shorten your exposure to stress causing issues (take a break, leave the physical premises)?

Now try to reduce the intensity of your emotional reactions to stress. The stress reaction is triggered by your perception of physical danger and/or emotional danger. Are you viewing your stress in exaggerated terms and/or taking a difficult situation and making it a disaster? Are you trying to please everyone? Are you overreacting and viewing things as absolutely critical and urgent? Change your perspective and try to see the stress as something you can cope with rather than something that overpowers you. Try to balance your excess emotions. Put the situation in perspective. Do not dwell on the negative aspects and the "what if's."

Learning to moderate your physical reactions to stress is also very helpful. Slow, deep breathing will bring your heart rate and respiration back to normal. Relaxation techniques can reduce muscle tension. It might be worthwhile to try meditation or yoga. Simple changes in posture, habits, thought, and behavior often can be very beneficial to reduce feelings of stress and tension.

Here are a few more ideas to consider for managing your stress:

Whenever you feel overwhelmed by stress , practice speaking more slowly than usual. You'll find that you think more clearly and react more reasonably to stressful situations. Stressed people tend to speak fast and breathlessly; by slowing down your speech you'll also appear less anxious and more in control of any situation.

Plan something rewarding for the end of your stressful day, even if only a relaxing bath or half an hour with a good book. Put aside work, housekeeping or family concerns for a little while before going to bed and allow yourself to fully relax. Don't spend this time planning tomorrow's schedule or doing chores you didn't get done during the day. Remember that you need time to recharge and energize yourself so that you'll be much better prepared to face another stressful day.

Try a repetitive activity such as knitting, crochet, pottery making, or anything with soothing movements. Don't worry about creating a masterpiece or even developing a skill - it's the process that's beneficial. Sitting calmly while performing repetitive movements is calming and stabilizing for many people. It can also be a great time to collect your thoughts.

Talk! Don't hold all your feelings inside! Discuss your stressful feelings with someone you trust who will listen without being judgmental. Even if you can't change the immediate situation, talking about it helps alleviate some of the tension you may be feeling.

Gaze at the stars. Preferably in a still, dark, and quiet area, sit back and observe the vast sky. See if you can identify some of the constellations and planets. If it's cold outside, wrap yourself up in a blanket. Pondering the vastness of the universe in this way can make a lot of problems seem very small.

Stress management is most effective when it becomes part of your every day lifestyle, rather than just an added diversion. Those who manage stress best are those who feel that they are in control of their own lives and they are doing things in life they enjoy. Take control today and manage your stress instead of letting it manage you.

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