Are You Asking the Right People?

ARE YOU ASKING THE RIGHT PEOPLE? © Rhoberta Shaler, PhD www.OptimizeLifeNow.com

Were you ever told that you were selfish? What were you wanting? Unless it was something that would deprive or cause hardship for others, why was it deemed 'selfish'? Often, that term is applied when the hearer does not want to be bothered with the statement or request! OR, the hearer would not let themselves want the same thing and, therefore, deny you as they deny themselves.

You have every right to want things, time, energy, relationships and experiences. What else would make you want to get up in the morning?

As an adult, however, it's up to you to take care of them. Adults understand the connections between 'wanting' and 'receiving'. They each remember the phrase from Robert Schuller, "If it is to be, it's up to me!"

You are well aware of how childhood relationships impact on your behavior as an adult, aren't you? Was it acceptable to ask for what you needed and wanted as a child? Were you listened to with interest? How does this experience impact your adult life?

I remember well being told that I was selfish when I wanted the time and attention of my parents. As I was an only child, you might expect that the ratio of two adults to one child would automatically provide more than my share of parental interest. Not so. The things that I wanted could not be held in my hands.

One important ingredient in this equation of asking and receiving--the person being asked must have what it is you want. That sounds simple, doesn't it? It isn't when you are talking about love, time, energy and attention. My parents did not have what I was asking for. How so? Everyone has love, time, energy and attention, right? No. It was unavailable because they were lacking it themselves. They did not have it to give. They, like many folks whose teen years were consumed by The Great Depression, were outwardly focused looking for affirmation and approval from the community. It is not a fault. It was a condition. My parents were community minded, contributing folks. Excellent citizens. They simply did not have the gift I wanted most.

Are you asking the right folks for what you want? You cannot give a gift you do not have. Asking someone to give you what they do not have makes no sense. Many folks mourn over lost relationships. Were you asking for something the other could not give you? Then, you were asking the wrong person. There's a big difference between being unwilling to give you something and unable to do so, isn't there?

Are you asking the right folks?

© Rhoberta Shaler, PhD All rights reserved worldwide. ============================= Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, speaks, coaches & conducts seminars for entrepreneurs & professionals who want the motivation, strategies and inspiration to achieve, to lead and to live richly.

Dr. Shaler speaks to thousands of people each year giving them and their organizations ‘The OK’s to SUCCEED!" --the Optimization Keys to lift their sights and elevate results from acceptable to EXCEPTIONAL. She is the author of 'Optimize Your Day! Practical Wisdom for Optimal Living’. Her book as well as her free ezines are available from her website, www.OptimizeLifeNow.com .

For permission to reprint this article, please contact Jane@OptimizeLifeNow.com

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