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Romantic Love DefinedRomantic Love Defined To understand and define romantic love, we must first separate the terms “romantic” from “love.” We can only understand how the two words have come to be joined as one by understanding what they each mean individually. To be “romantic” means to have feelings and thoughts of love and adventure. It also means fanciful or impractical. In truth, our ideas about what it means to be romantic stem from medieval stories of heroic or supernatural events, which causes one to wonder why it is so commonly used in the modern world. To “love” is to have profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. It also means to feel or show love. Love is certainly harder to define because we have many kinds of love, but only one word in the English language to describe them all. This makes it hard to distinguish real love from false love or friendship love from passionate love. Indeed, people often confuse love (the noun) with love (the verb). The difference is that one is a state of feeling and the other, a state of action. Modern love and romance, then, is much more about the state of doing. Modern romantics spend more time taking action on their feelings of love, as opposed to just talking or dreaming about it. Being romantic in modern times means acting romantic, by taking ordinary moments and making them special. This could be seen as a simple date becoming an adventure, or a simple meal, becoming a dining delight. It is all in the thought and care that goes behind the act. Modern romance is act-based, not merely thought-based. It is making reality more beautiful, more enchanting. So how did the unrealistic aspects of “romantic love” come to have such a hold on us? Basically from the belief system that courtship love of the Middle Ages still represents what love should be today. In reality, courtly lovers seldom achieved a sexual or marriage union—as it was merely enough to hold the person up to an ideal and love him or her from afar. But westerners are by nature, adventurers. We want to believe in romantic love because it is so much more exciting than loving a real person, with all of their warts and imperfections. Another reason is how we treat others and nature. Instead of holding life and love sacred, we treat them like they are a commodity to be owned and possessed. Because of our consumerism mind-set, many think they can buy love. This egotistical approach to love has no doubt been a major contributor to the current divorce rate. Did you know that our culture is the only one to idealize romantic love and to equate passion with marriage? And yet we are the very one with the highest divorce rate, not to mention children with emotional problems. Modern romantic love in our society is lacking in a sense of spirituality. Because in some ways “we have nothing to believe in,” we choose to believe that romantic love can transform our souls the way a strong relationship with our own spirit would. Instead of digging deeper to find the real cause of our feelings of incompleteness, we go in search of someone to project our needs and ideals on. We then “worship” them, suffer at their hands, and sacrifice our sanity—all for the sake of our beloved. In reality, we do this for our own sake, to fill our inner void. Pop culture also perpetuates the myth of romantic love. How many times is “heaven” referenced in modern-day love songs? As human beings, what we are really seeking is a re-connection to our souls. But what we have failed to do is to look within, and instead have looked to another person to find our own spirit. How else can you explain the phenomenon of people meeting each other, falling in love, forgetting all of their commitments (like family and career)—only to find out later that it wasn’t love at all—and then separating? When we fall “in love” under false pretenses, it will last only as long as the illusion of love is maintained by one or both partners. For our purposes, romantic love will be defined as the act of loving, caring, and cherishing another human being with whom there is sexual intimacy and friendship. In order for our society to become better romantic lovers, we need to let go of our ego, find our inner souls, and realize that loving another person is a choice. Finding a life mate is a rather practical decision, one that should be made with thought and care. But know that once you find the right person, you are free to create your own idea of modern-day romance.***Adapted from the book, Get Smart! About Modern Romantic Relationships Michelle L. Casto, M.Ed., is a Whole Life Coach, Speaker, and Author of the Get Smart! LearningBook Series, which includes books and workbooks on romantic relationships, career development, life purpose/life strategy, and stress management. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching. She empowers people to live with passion, purpose, & possibility and inspires people to freely shine their brightlight to the world. To learn more or to subscribe to the Get Smart! Live Smart newsletter, Visit virtually: www.getsmartseries.com or www.brightlightcoach.com coach@getsmartseries.com
Moksha Salvation in Hinduism... highlights concept and the path Is it not true that only after gaining Enlightenment (Self-Realization) that one can reach the stage of Moksha (Salvation). Moksha is that ephemeral truth of life without which human beings cannot sustain themselves. The cause of the human body... the process of evolution... all leads to our Soul (Atman) gaining liberation from the cycle of birth and death (Moksha) forever. Moksha being the ult. . .
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