Top Ten Autobiographical Steps From Saying "No" To Saying "Yes…"

1. I don't say "no" when… I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid she won't like me, if I say "no" to her. I divide people between losers and winners. Adopting such perspective will inevitably make me concerned that I may lose something, be lost, and/or be viewed as a loser… That is the ultimate rejection, which is my greatest fear! I'd much rather please Aunt Adele and compromise, just to convince her that I am on her side, a winner. Anything not to be rejected!

2. I don't say "no" when… I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid I will end up unloved and all alone. I have to be a team player to be safe. My reputation and being accepted by my peers are foremost to me. My core belief is that it's a jungle out there, and, that I would die if I were alone. Furthermore, I have the thought that my needs won't be met unless I surround myself with people who are obligated to me. So I say "yes" to you, with the tacit agreement that, one day, you will say "yes" to me. Now we owe each other: Anything not to be alone!

3. I don't say "no" when… I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid to challenge the status quo. I can't say "no" to his demand. I don't want to make waves. Good people don't make waves. Good people don't make noises. They don't cause "trouble." They just follow the trend, and then the next trend. Conditioning is good; it gives you a feeling of safety, of knowing where you are. Then you don't have to make a decision, it is all decided for you! I don't want to be disappointed, nor do I want to disappoint Grandma Julie. Traditions are good. Anything not to change.

4. I don't say "no" when… I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid to speak my truth, and sing my song: It is better for me to show up as a yes man than a no woman, which are ultimately the two sides of the same coin. If not, I will be perceived as an heretic, an original, a loony, a rebel… I will have to leave the nest, and take on a larger domain of operation. That is way too much work! I much rather hide my truth, be a good girl, stuff my throat, thwart my expression, and do as Mommy wants, even if it kills me. Anything not to be responsible.

5. I don't say "no" when… I am afraid, I am afraid, I am afraid… I am afraid of how truth will change my life. I'd rather not inquire on who is speaking, who is running the show, is it the small I or the Big I, is it the ego or the heart? If I were to say "no" to her, she would be in pain, and it would be my entire fault! If I were to say "no" to him, he will be hurt for the rest of his life. If I say "no" to them, they won't have any other opportunity ever. It's dark in there, in those negative scripts. It's dark and it's cold… Anything not to Turn on the Light!

6. On the other hand, I dare say "yes" When I come back to my heart, inside me. When I find sweetness there and a home, a nurturing and endless source of unconditional acceptance. When that harmony reflects on my world, which can no longer appear as hostile and inhospitable to me. When I understand how profound it is to no longer perceive that truth is unkind, and choose to speak that truth kindly… I Am Intelligence.

7. I dare say "yes" When I accept that life is an evolutionary spiral, and that I learn in stages. When I am willing to see the benefits I have derived from my conditioning, and let it be as that; a good story that served me well all those years! When I take on the challenge to be an individual, that blossoms of his or her own unique fragrance, and fully create the mastery of being needed just as I am, in my full uniqueness. I Am Forgiveness.

8. I dare say "yes" When I look at life as an adventure, a rich and exciting current that may take me right or left. I have surrendered controlling it. And that is delicious, as my only knowing is that it will be good, it will be fun, and it will be beautiful. I am traveling a labyrinth; there, some doors open, some don't. I don't take the not opening (the "no") personally, I don't assume or expect it either. I have reversed "no" to "on", turned "on" the "no." I am electric and on, I am travel and light. I travel light. I Am Adventure.

9. I dare say "yes" When I see that, if I am true to my heart in canceling my plans with Arthur next week, even if it is at the last minute, Arthur will find himself using the time of our meeting in ways that further his growth. Somehow, a great opportunity will present itself to where he will see the harmony of this shift. In a loving universe, there are only winners. When I help myself, I help everyone. Even if Arthur chooses to be mad as hell because I cancelled at the last minute, that experience will bring him one step closer to recognizing he is the chooser of his experiences… I Am Trust

10. I dare say "yes" When I choose peace, even if it means saying "no" to helping my best friend move, "no" to my son who wants to borrow my car, "no" to a macadamia double chocolate chip cookie… Acting with the consequence of my actions in mind, I choose peace. The best fight of all is when I don't have to fight anymore. When I am neither acquiescent nor rebellious. When I live so deeply in my heart, that I only obey its commands. I only have "yeses" for the Self. More than a reply, it is a response, and a sacred vow, which says yes to life, yes to laughter, yes to lightness. Ultimately YES to Love. Mahalene Louis is a multilingual business coach and inspiration anchor, artist, author, speaker and president of Soulvision Axis, Inc, in Austin, TX. She authored The Weight Is In Your Lies… Not On Your Thighs! She is preparing for the forthcoming publishing of her new book, Maha's Qkabbalah: If It Weren't For Family, Food, Sex, And Money, I Would Do Great On Earth! as a result of 15 years of study on languages, religions, and human development. She is certified as the first French teleleader trainer, and, beyond several local publications and national e-publications to which she is a regular contributor, she currently writes and publishes a monthly e-zine, Stop Trying, Start Trusting Mahazine, addressed to visionaries, holistic coaches, and consultants on the way to birth their personal and professional leadership. Forwarding/Sharing Unless noted otherwise, all material is written and edited by Mahalene Louis, Copyright (c) Soulvision Axis, Inc. (r) 2003. All rights reserved. You may reprint material from "Turn on the Light!" Top Ten in other electronic or print publications provided the above copyright notice and a link to http://www.mahalenelouis.com is included in the credits. Also please send us a copy of the publication. When forwarding this material, please send the entire article intact and unadulterated.